SAVING LIVES
by Mayleee
Summary: Amelia arrives in Seattle wishing to discover the life of her brother. But when your name is Shepherd, things are never simple.
1. Chapter 1

I'm a fan of Grey's, but mostly Amelia.  
For two years, I have the idea to write the story of Amelia to keep a trace other than on the screen.

I grew up in a family surrounded by a brother and three sisters. My parents, two loving people have always been there for us, the memory that I have. My mother worked in the navy as a nurse and my father had a shop. I don't have many memories of my childhood, happy memories. No, I didn't live hell or even been beaten, but the fact that my mother wasn't often at home, had somehow brought me closer to my father. I made a relationship with him that still today I can't forget. He gave me money, it was not much, but these few pieces, I kept preciously in the hope of buying a city. A city, it would have taken many pennies to buy one. I certainly had much imagination, I don't see other reasons.

 _"We were in the back of the store. Dad had just given you two pennies, and you always hid them behind the counter in this big crack in the floorboards. You said you were saving them so you could buy a town. And then the two guys came in. We could hear them talking, but you weren't paying attention until dad yelled, and you looked up. They had already pulled the gun, they had already taken the money, but now they wanted the watch that mom gave him. He wouldn't give it up. There was a gunshot. You... lunged forward. I was trying to get to him, but... I couldn't move. I put one hand over your mouth so you wouldn't scream and wrapped the other one around you and just held on for dear life, prayed to God that you'd be quiet and you wouldn't say anything. You were so little._

 _\- DEREK -_

I was five, Derek was twelve or thirteen. My father died close to me, shot in the head and I was young, too young to do anything. Six years old, an age still very young, I had already in the idea of wanting to do medicine, to be a surgeon. Perhaps that seeing my father collapsed on the floor without me being able to intervene, not even Derek, the urge to help others was born in my mind. But there was this period, adolescence and its consequences. I had used drugs to combat this suffering, convinced that it would help me overcome the murder I had witnessed. I had become uncontrollable and my health ... an overdose, dead three minutes. Without Derek, I wouldn't be there anymore

I went to medicine, first to Harvard, then to Johns Hopkins. I completed a residency in general surgery to specialize in neurosurgery and obtained a fellowship that allowed me to be part of Dr. Ginsberg's team. I showed what I was capable of, everything went well until we go on a case in Los Angeles. I knew what had to be done to get this patient out of the comas. And I was ready for anything because I believed in it, but I was alone. Nobody wanted to believe that I had the solution.

 _\- What about cannulating the aqueduct of Sylvius ? Passing a stent to drain the fluid buildup ?_  
 _\- Dr. Shepherd._  
 _\- Her C.S.F. studies show a slowing of flow, not a complete obstruction. It could work. I assisted in two of the procedures..."I did my residency at Johns Hopkins. I have done dozens of procedures in the third ventricle. I am more than qualified. That's why you hired me._  
 _\- Well, clearly I made a mistake. You're fired, Dr. Shepherd._

The starting point of a new life. Ginsberg didn't want me to be on his team anymore, so I finally decided to stay at L.A. I found my brother's ex-wife, Addison, I lived her home, everything seemed fine. I had not spoken to Derek for a while, and I learned that he become victim of shot. I had sent emails asking for news, they were not answering so I went to Seattle and brought a guy met on the plane with a brain tumor. We operated on him, then we talked. When I returned to L.A, I applied for a position I obtained. I got on well with everyone, really. The people were nice, especially Dr. Charlotte King, a urologist. When she got married, without paying attention, I caught a glass of champagne that I drank. Charlotte called it an accident, but it was more than that. I had just returned to the path of alcohol. And more than an accident, I operated on a guy under the influence of alcohol, which earned me the removal of my surgical privileges until I could prove I was now sober.

I attended many meetings of alcoholics anonymous, I began to get fine, I thought. Then a friend, Michelle returned from a trip to Italy and I promised to help her. She had Huntington's disease, the symptoms were developing, she did not want to live anymore. I had enough powerful drugs for her to die by taking large doses. She died a few hours after being at home. She had taken medication herself, she had committed suicide. I lost a friend and I lost my mind at the same time. Drug came back as a way to help me overcome that. I went out, I hung out in the bars to finish sleeping with guys. One of them, Ryan, had become more than just a guy. I developed feelings, he developed them too. Like me, drugs were his everyday life. We took advantage of it, we had fun and when when Addison threatened to fire me from her home, I wanted to enjoy one last dose of oxycodone. Ryan died, he took this dose without thinking for a moment that he was going to die.

One month in the rehab center, I did not want to use more drugs, alcohol, I did not want to miss my life and hurt others. And now I'm getting pregnant with Ryan. We wanted children, everything was going too fast. This child I was carrying was anencephalic, he had no brain. I decided to give his organs to save other babies in need of a transplant. I held my son 43 minutes in my arms before they came to extract his organs. A year later, by dint of meetings, I became sober. I continued to work in the hospital when a new doctor appeared. We sympathized even if at first, nothing seemed to bring us closer. I fell in love. Once again, everything was going too fast, he had offered me an engagement ring but I do not know why, I accepted his propose and I decided to run away.

Here I am in Seattle, close to my brother's house...


	2. Chapter 2

A few days ago, Derek needed me for surgery on two twins. This proved to be a success, and I must admit that working in this hospital is much more interesting than in Los Angeles. I don't forget the time there with Addison, Charlotte and all the others, but I think I was not destined to continue my career there. Derek's words on the night of this surgery, everything he said to me and the fact that he wants me to stay... I don't have any desire to leave and when we propose to you working in one of the best hospitals, there no need to think twice. My day begins with a meeting. I do it from time to time, although since the death of Ryan, I'm better. Usually, these are strangers, people who may never meet anywhere else than here. So when I see Richard, that I hear the story with his daughter who is working here, I'm not trying to find out more. There are stories we shouldn't care about, even if we know the person. When he finishes speaking, that i'm paged, I'm walking towards the elevator.

\- I just need to know you won't talk to anyone about what you heard. _**Says Richard by looking at me.**_

\- It's anonymous for a reason, Richard. Of course not. But if you ever wanted to talk, you could, to me. I'm a really good listener, and it's not like I don't have things that I would rather not have everybody here know. I mean, I haven't even told my own brother about..

\- I don't want to talk.

The doors open, I go out and heading to ER. I see April who discusses with a woman with her son.

\- I got a page ? _ **I say my hands in the pockets of my gown**_

\- Come with me. _**April replies, urging me to follow her.**_

Just a few steps and here we are in front of the trauma room. April draws the curtain, Derek is there, busy with the patient. His face doesn't bode well, I feel some stress in the room. That he asked for my help seems strange. I remember the day when I came to help him, more precisely, where I had come to see him and that on the plane I had met a man with a brain tumor that I had decided to bring with me. He had simply asked me to leave, not wanting me to help him operate. Of course, I didn't listen to him and I stayed. Maybe things would change, finally.

\- Good, you're here. There's too much blood to do the ventric. Can you help ?

\- Geez. He belongs to them ? _**I say to April after seeing the little boy and his mom, not far from the room.**_

\- Yep. _**She answers, and immediately, I put on a surgical gown.**_

\- Oh, damn it.B.P.'s 220 over 123. He's bradying. _**Exclaims Derek somewhat panicked.**_

\- The family's asking for an update. Is there anything I could tell them now? _ **April asks.**_

\- Well, nothing good. Just hang tight, okay ? _**Said Derek.**_

We are moving quickly to the OR that has been reserved, to try to save the man. Serious injuries that we hope to heal. But no one can know how things are going to be.

\- When do you leave for D.C. anyway ? I was gonna ask Meredith if I could store some things in your side of the closet. _**I say to Derek.**_

\- Did Meredith tell you that ?

\- You both did, loudly, until about 4:00 in the morning. How does it work exactly ? You're not separated, but you're not living together.

\- Meredith's staying behind ? _**Ben asks.**_

\- She is. _**Derek answers.**_

\- And you're cool with that ? _**Ben asks.**_

\- You're together but living apart Live-a-partners ! See that ? I gave it a name. Now it's a thing. _**I say, laughing.**_

\- Yeah, I'm familiar with that thing. I did it with Miranda. _**Reacts Ben.**_

\- How did it work out for you guys ? _**Derek asks.**_

\- Well, seeing as I'm not living in L.A. anymore, I'd say it didn't.

\- It's not crazy, right, to go after this opportunity ? I'm not a bad person for wanting this.

\- No, but Meredith's not either. This is her home. It's your kids' home. You can't blame her for wanting to stay. How are you gonna get laid when the person you get laid with is here and you are in D.C.? Oh, grow 's a valid question. _**I say, Derek look at me strangely.**_

\- Okay .Removing the skull flap. _**Derek said, dodging my question.**_

A few hours later, night fell. We continue the operation, Derek having to leave for a neurological consultation. Ben decided to stay, to help me. I was hoping for a better ending, not to say that at 6:32 pm, this little boy's father died. But despite all our efforts, the cerebral hernia he developed, was too big. I leave the OR and walk the hall when Derek joins me.

\- How is Mr. Peterson ? _**Derek asks.**_

\- On my way to talk to his family now. It's gonna be super fun. I love telling little kids that dad is never coming home. _**I answer.**_

\- I'll go with you.

\- Actually, I'd appreciate that.

\- Yeah, somebody should be there to make sure you don't say things like "super fun."

\- Ah. Good note. _**I tell him a few steps away from the little boy.**_ Hey, Luca. What a cool spaceship. Where's your mom ?

\- ? _ **The mom asks.**_

Luca, we just need to talk to your mom over here for sec. You cool to hang out, work on that spaceship? _**Said derek as I walk away with the mom.**_

The face of this woman shows me all the sadness of my words. That's right, I'm not telling her what she would have liked to hear and Derek must certainly be talking to the little boy too. The truth is that we always do our best not to have to announce sad news. But sometimes, even doing our best isn't enough.


End file.
